The Best Fingering Techniques: From A Guy’s And Girl’s Perspective

Updated: Cassie now gives her perspective when it comes to fingering. See if she agrees with me by reading her part here!

orgasm from fingeringThere is nothing like reaching 3rd base for the first time. You’ve had your first kiss, you’ve been granted access to the titties and now it’s time to show your true worth as your partner has let you go below the belt.

Unfortunately, for many men, or should I say women, the sad reality is men have no fucking clue what they are doing when it comes to finger banging their girl.

A common scene which is played out in bedrooms around the world usually involves the woman becoming increasingly frustrated by the man’s inability to pleasure her, so she gives the man what a man can understand: Penis in Vagina.

Now you might be thinking, “Mike, what do you know about finger banging a woman?”

Well, my answer is probably “more than you” if you’re reading this article. I have done my research thoroughly including countless surveys, interviews, online research and of course the only thing that REALLY counts…personal experience.

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Where do I start?

Fingering TechniquesThe first step to the best fingering techniques is to understand the female anatomy; at least from a basic level.

Too many men are too cocky to care but the truth is that so few men ACTUALLY know where the clitoris is and when they do find it, have no idea what to do with it.

If you check out the diagram on the left, you’ll see the clitoris is at the top of the whole package. For most women, you can ignore the rest of it as that little button is essential for pretty much all of her pleasure.

One thing to keep in mind throughout your sessions is that the clitoris is extremely sensitive, and all though it varies from female to female as to just how sensitive it is, it’s best to start by being extremely gentle in that area and to ask if she wants more pressure.

One thing to make sure to be aware of is that you don’t mix up the woman’s urethral opening and the clit. They can be really close together on some woman, and for some, it can be an uncomfortable place to be touched. Another reason men have trouble finding the clitoris is that woman don’t necessarily do a great job of helping them find it.

To be honest, I spent a lot of my early twenties guessing and until I actually got down there one day, spread the labia minora and found the swollen head of the clitoris with my own two eyes, I didn’t really know what I was doing.

So once you have done a little bit of research both with the diagram and in the bedroom (just tell your lady it’ll be worth it to let you inspect her a little closer), it’s time to learn some techniques which will help you get her off. At the bottom of this article, I will also share a technique which is for inside the vagina (think g-spot) and can sometimes lead a woman to squirt.

The Basic Clitoral Rub

Now that you know where the clitoris is and how exactly it feels, it’s time to show off your new found skills. The position is up to you and although it’s easiest if you can actually see the clit, your partner might not be that into you between her legs while you’re fingering her so you’ll have to get comfortable making use of the technique blind. If you are laying beside her, it’s best to have her flat on her back and you on your side with your dominant hand available for use.

It’s nice to be at head level so you can do all that romantic bullshit at the same time like kiss and tell each other your dirtiest fantasies. Use your dominant hand and place the palm above her vagina so you have your index finger in perfect position to massage the clit. It’s best to dip your finger inside of her if she’s wet to get a bit of moisture but if she’s dry, I recommend giving your fingers a quick lick and it should help.

Find the clit and VERY gently begin massaging it in a counter clockwise motion. If you’re partner has had problems cumming in the past, ask her to forget the moaning bullshit, don’t worry about cumming and just think about the touch. Sometimes I find women have so much pressure to cum that they never will because of that pressure. Help her to relax and that this session isn’t all about making her cum but that it’s just to relax and if cumming is a by product of relaxing; more power to her.

Here is the really simple part about the technique is that there is really nothing else to it. For woman, having a consistent motion is an important part of reaching orgasm, and you want make sure to provide this. The most important thing to keep in mind is pressure. If you apply too much, the feeling can be overwhelming. Apply to little and she might ask if you’re doing anything at all. Work with her to find the happy medium and before you know it you’ll have her toes curling and her eyes rolling to the back of her head!

Best Sex Toy to Enhance the Basic Technique

One product I have experimented with several times using this technique is the personal fingertip massager. Super easy to use and extremely inconspicuous, it’s a really great toy for first times and one that is not intimidating.

Best Fingering Techniques: The G-Spot Finger Bang

This is one of my favorite moves that has helped me to have some girls who were probably out my league, stick around. It’s the g-spot finger bang and it’s a play which is both near and dear to me. I have caused several woman to squirt from this fingering technique that have never squirted before and I have been able to use it on the non-squirter during clitoral orgasm to prolong the orgasm and even provide opportunity for multiple orgasms.

Too be honest, this fingering technique is one I would love to use on those “No such thing as a g-spot” nay sayers as to be honest, I just don’t think they have been with a man who knows how to hit it.

The best place position to be in for this technique is to have the woman on her back with you kneeling between her spread legs. It’s usually best if you have already been fooling around for awhile and possibly even if you have been fucking for a little bit as the move is a bit of an ‘aggressive,’ one and can be uncomfortable if the female isn’t warmed up.

Use whichever hand is your dominant hand and hold out your middle and index finger. Slide the two fingers into the vagina as far as you can go. If she is particularly tight, start with one finger and move to two fingers once she has become a little more wet and relaxed. As you slide in, hug the upper wall of the vagina with the two fingers until you have reached pretty much as deep as you can go. If you have tremendously long fingers, you might want to pull back a bit but for the majority of the men out there, you want to nestle in as deep as you can.

What you want to do next is to begin lightly tapping on the upper wall of the vagina. I know I am not a doctor but that is where the woman’s g-spot is. There is no questions about it. Begin tapping softly with a motion that almost is like you are curling your two fingers back towards you as essentially you are in the process of rubbing your partners g-spot.

The next thing to do is to read your partners response. Ask them how it feels and listen closely. They might need more pressure or less, or for you to be deeper or shallower. Even if they haven’t had a g-spot orgasm, they’ll get a sense of the areas which feel good and will be able to fill you in.

Start your tapping and rubbing by starting slow. Start to get a little bit faster as you get feedback from your partners. Once you have a little bit more confidence you can then begin the second stage of the technique which can often lead to squirting.

Keep your two fingers tight against the upper wall and begin to start pumping in and out of your partner with very short movement. You only want to go back and forth less than half an inch either way to stimulate the g-spot. Basically what you’re doing is giving your partner the sensation that she’s getting fucked by a hard cock, but that the cock is hitting that perfect spot on the upper wall of her vagina.

You can go at this pretty hard and because you aren’t moving your fingers a ton, I find you can be pretty aggressive. Switch back and forth between the rubbing in and out and the tapping until you start to feel a little bit of a swell. When you feel this, you might want to look out as she very well might squirt you in the face. And if she does; take is a job well done.

Take her for a mind blowing loop by using your thumb to rub her clit at the same time. This is advanced baller shit, but if you can pull this off, she’ll be your slave.

Product to Enhance the G-Spot Finger Bang

Pretty much any clitoral stimulation will enhance this technique as we quickly touched on just above, but sometimes you’re just going at her so hard you don’t have time or ability to get your own hand involved any further. If that’s the case, throw a vibrator into the mix to really make things intense.

I don’t recommend an overly large vibrator as it kind of gets in the way but a small personal massage like the Multi-Speed Vibrator here can be a fun one to enhance the pleasure. Just get her to keep the vibration around her clit as you’ll be doing the work on the inside.

And now from my wife’s female perspective! Let’s see how much I got right…

Fingering Techniques From A Woman’s Perspective

Fingering is something where women either love it or hate it. I personally hated it until I was with Mike (I mean read what he’s written above…clearly he knows what he’s doing); I had finally had an experience with a man who knew exactly what he was doing versus a man who just jabbed his finger in there.

The best fingering techniques are all about paying attention to detail and listening to your partner. Some may even call it an art form.

Where some men usually go wrong is they don’t take the time to listen to their partner or examine/understand the vagina to see where they need to be to hit all the right spots.

All my experiences consisted of someone just going in there with a finger or two and just shoving it in and out.

Newsflash: that either HURTS or it is extremely uncomfortable for a woman! Hopefully this article can help men and women to understand the body a bit more, and can create a fun and steamy sexual experience for others.

External Vaginal Massage

The best way to start is always on the outside, it’s always important to warm your partner up. Before you begin it’s always important to use some form of lubrication. Mike and I go back and forth between either store bought or each other’s saliva (depending on how comfortable you are with one another). Anyways this will allow for a more comfortable experience, if you go in dry the sensation will not be the same and for the most part will hurt your partner.

The most important spots to massage is the vulva and the clitoris, these are the two spots you need to hit in order to allow your partner to reach an orgasm. The clitoral body is massaged through the clitoral hood. The motions usually consist of up and down, side to side or circular motions. Try all of them and ask your partner which ones they find to be the most comfortable and tantalizing. When practicing one of these motions this also allows the labia and the other genital areas to be stimulated as well. Another way to increase the feeling is to continue kissing your partner whether it be the mouth, neck or any of her erogenous zones.

I love when Mike focuses on my labia; he gives the best labial massages!! He always makes sure his hand is well lubricated and places it over my labia, fingers facing towards the anus. Start pulling up slowly towards the navel and alternate hands, allow yourself to explore the inner and outer lips with your fingers pulling gently on one lip and then the other. Rub the outer lips gently between your forefinger and thumb, and then continue to the inner lips.

Sex Toy to Enhance The Sensation

A personal favorite is the finger tip vibrator Mike mentioned above, with 4 pleasure skin sleeves to switch things up. Easy to use and can be used by either yourself or your partner to increase the orgasm.

Anal Fingering

Anal fingering is something that most people I find don’t really want to discuss or try out. My first encounter with it was a shock at first, but was easily turned to pure pleasure. It’s a sensation, if done right, that can leave your whole body left in goose bumps. This technique is a little bit more for people who are sexually comfortable with one another and know each other well.

There are a lot of nerve endings in the anal area and it can be pleasurable to have something in there, also there is added stimulation gained from stretching the sphincter muscles while inserting the finger. Once again lubrication is very necessary and I would suggest something more than just your saliva. This step is an absolute must and should NEVER be skipped if you want to enjoy anal play.

Some people like to start off by stimulating the outer ring of the anus to get it warmed up and ready. Once that has happened it’s necessary to insert one or two (depending on how comfortable) fingers inside.

Anal fingering can be seen as an act in itself, or an arousing prelude in preparation for further anal sex. It can arouse the receiver, allowing them to relax their anus and prepare them for the insertion of a penis or any other type of toy for that matter. Like in the first technique ways to always heighten these sensations is always kissing and touching. Allow yourself to kiss all over your partners back and ass, and maybe even lick around the anal ring.

Sex Toy to Enhance

Any vibrator will work in this situation. Allow her to use one on herself while you are inside and that will stimulate her even more. Depending on where your comfort level is you can always use one around and inside the anus as well.