Ho to Be Confident in Bed: The Shy Girl’s Guide to Embracing Sexuality

November 17, 2018 Erotica
how to be confident in bed

No woman woke up in the morning and decided that she’s Cleopatra reborn.

No matter how much the most confident of women seem…confident, all of them had to learn how to be confident in bed. They are confident on the streets, in the sheets, you get the gist.

While tackling how to be confident in general can take a whole thesis’ worth of words, we believe going for how shy women can become more confident and sexy is something that we can achieve with ease.

So if you want to be more confident in bed and dazzle yourself with your immense sexiness, please do read on.

Sing “Let It Go” Until It Sticks

Most women had their insecurities discussed on public forums as if they’re on display.

From “oh, you could do with losing a few pounds,” to “you need to find some cream for your stretch marks,” we had our hands (and our minds) full with negative comments about our bodies, our hair, our posture, and our butts.

If you want to start achieving unfathomable heights of confidence, you need to let all of those hurts go.

You might not be Kate Moss, but he’s not Leonardo Di’Caprio either (he better not be, we’ll fight you for Leo).

People get turned on by other people of all shapes and sizes. There are kinks that can make us go wild, yet you’d be immediately turned off by them. So why do we keep believing that there is only one type of beauty that counts as “sexy”?

Know Thyself: The ‘How to Be Confident in Bed’ Edition

Obviously, we’re not expecting you to throw away all your insecurities in a ditch, set them on fire, and dance on their aches all on the span of days.

It will take time, but it has to be an active-type of time. Laying around passively, while telling yourself you’re pretty isn’t going to cut it.

This brings is to Socrates never-ending wisdom. Know thyself. Sexually.

We know that wasn’t his aim when he imparted his knowledge on us, but it still works for our current dilemmas.

Look at yourself in the mirror before or after you take your daily shower. We know that the first things that will bombard your mind will be your “imperfections”.

But how about picking three things that you love about yourself? If you know that you have beautiful eyes, acknowledge that fact.

The same goes for your smile, your wonky teeth, and stunning knees.

Try doing that every day for a week or two, and you’ll find that snarky inner-voice -that did nothing but scream about how terrible your hair looks- be kinder and gentler as the days go by.

The Masturbation Chronicles

Alright, are we feeling a bit more comfortable with our hot naked bod?

Good, because it’s time to warm our engines with some sexy touching. If you haven’t made friends with your clitoris yet, you are missing out on a world of fun.

Start with inspecting the area, because if you don’t know what your girl bits look like then how are you going to map your way to orgasms?

Bring a small mirror with you to bed and lay down. Relax, there is no hurry and no one around to impress.

Start lightly touching your clit, your lips, and your hole(s). Focus on the sensations, and feel free to play around with different speeds, hand pressures, and movements.

Don’t Know What to Do? Study Up

We might be speeding up here, so let’s slow it down a notch.

A big chunk of people’s confidence comes from their belief in their abilities to do something. In short, confident women in bed are confident in bed because they know what they’re doing.

Getting to know your body is all nice and dandy, but if you don’t know what makes your body tick and your juices to flow, then you need to study up.

Start with what you are comfortable with. If it is a gigantic anatomically-correct sexual health textbook, then all the power to you. You can build up your way from here to more exciting avenues like porn and smutty novels.

After you studied up, it’s time for the practical test…on yourself and your partner.

Integrate all you’ve learned, and explore the things that reading simply won’t be enough to explain.

Pick a lube that you like and play with it, and you better be ready to pick a sex toy (a nice small vibrator definitely wouldn’t be amiss) to have a trusty BFF on your sexual adventures.

Your Territory. Your Rules

Whenever you feel like you’re getting overwhelmed, remember that you’re in control.

This is your territory, and these are your rules. If you feel like cooking pasta in an apron and nothing else is the way to go, do it. If you feel like dressing up in a million lumpy layers are good for today, go for it.

There is no timeline that you need to keep up with, and now checklist that you need to tick. Simply enjoy the journey, knowing that you have a pause button, a play, a start, and a zoom button. Yum.

Teasing is the Name of the Game

It can be non-sexual teasing and then build up to the good stuff.

It doesn’t matter if you’re shy, or an introvert. Everyone and anyone is a potential teaser. It’s science!

You can start with a bit of sustained eye-contact to a mischievous smile to a light hand on an inner thigh. The teasing spectrum is yours to explore.

Lingerie: You Need Some

And that is not a request. You’re feeling more mentally ready for your new confident sexy girl side to flourish. Well, babe, you need your appearance to match.

Part of getting into the mindset is putting on something that matches your tone. You’re feeling sexy, so you better look in the mirror and see ‘sexy’ staring back at you.

Now you don’t have to go straight to the crotchless panties (but if you do, then we’re so proud), but start with what you feel comfortable and sexy in.

It doesn’t help anyone if you go for a thong, because people say it’s sexy, and then spend in the night in contortions to avoid the weird itchy fabric going up your butt.

Look for something you think is pretty, and is available in a color that you love wearing. There are approximately a billion styles of lingerie out there from pretty and simple to pretty and my boobs are in your face.

Set the Mood

You want to have sex tonight. Great! Let’s think about that for a minute. It’s going to happen at your place, on the bed that you changed the sheets for yesterday and even used some light fabric perfume.

You have a couple of candles -nothing fancy- but it’s your favorite combination of vanilla and musk. Hmmm…that’s nice.

Think about all the things you want to do together. You to him and him to you. Feeling hot yet? Good, mission accomplished.

When you set the mood for yourself, you’ll find that your shyness evaporated right out of the room’s window.

Gimme Some Spice

While you’re starting to feel like you’re getting the hang of this, and your sexiness is showing, it’s time to take it to the next level.

Being the confident goddess you are, you want to explore some new things to do. And what better way to do so but a game?

You can create a Sex Wheel together. Get a simple piece of paper, draw a circle and divide it like you would a pizza into 10 slices.

You get five slices, and so does your partner. In every segment you have, write down something sexy you wanted to explore or something that you really love doing.

Feel free to fill them up with the most vanilla to the kinkiest of things. The sky is the limit, so explore your options.

Sexy Homework

We believe you are ready to spread your lacy wings and fly all over your partner’s body.

How to be confident in bed is more about how to be confident in your own body than anything else, and the rest will come with fun-filled time.

But as any good student knows, there is still so much more to learn. So make sure you read up on all things erotic and sexy, as regularly as possible. And never forget to stock up your lube. You can thank us later.