3 Things to Remember About Lupus and Sex

October 9, 2019 Relationships
couple having sex on floor

Nobody seems to talk about lupus and sex – but the disease has a direct impact on the 1.5 million Americans who have the autoimmune condition.

The physical and emotional symptoms of the disease affect every lupus patient in different ways. If you’re affected by lupus and feel it’s hurting your sex life, you’re not alone.

The good news is that there are ways you can have a healthy sex life and a positive relationship with your partner even when your lupus flares up. Keep reading to find out how to regain your sexual confidence in spite of your disease.

How Does Lupus Affect Libido and Relationships?

The physical symptoms of lupus, such as fatigue and chronic pain, are only a small part of the effect the disease has on libido.

The outward appearance of symptoms can affect self-confidence. Rashes, flushing from fevers, and swollen joints can make a person want to cover their body up.

Being ‘the sick one’ in a relationship can feel like there is an emotional imbalance between partners. Or, the constant rejection of sex due to pain can lead to arguments born of frustration.

Opening up the conversation about the impact lupus has on your libido and self-confidence is the first step to overcoming the obstacles it places on your relationship.

3 Statements About Lupus and Sex to Regain Your Sexual Confidence

When your disease flares up and you feel it’s taking over your relationship and sex life, try telling yourself the following statements. They’ll help you to regain confidence in your sexuality and recognize that your right to a healthy sex life is not rescinded because you have lupus.

1. “I Am Entitled To Discuss My Sex Life with My Rheumatologist”

Rheumatologists don’t routinely talk about your sex life as part of your consultations – but you can open up to them about it. If you’re experiencing problems with your relationship or intimacy, start a conversation with them about these issues.

They may be able to recommend therapies and treatments – including counseling – to help you overcome the barriers you’re experiencing.

2. “My Pain and Fatigue Are a Valid Reason to Not Have Sex Today”

Your partner may get frustrated when you reject them because you’re in pain. However, your body is telling you what it can – and can’t – handle, so listen to it.

There are things you can do to try to alleviate your pain to feel more interested in sex again. For example, CBD oil for lupus can help you relax and reduce anxiety related to your pain. Or, you can try a warm bath to soothe your muscles.

3. “If Penetration Is Painful I Can Still Have a Satisfying Sex Life”

Lupus symptoms can include sexual dysfunction, erectile problems, a dry vagina, and general pain due to the physical activity involved.

If full sex isn’t working for you, try alternatives. Foreplay can be just as fun; or experiment with toys or mutual masturbation with your partner. Sex isn’t just about penetration – so have fun finding out what works for you!

Experiment to Find New Ways to Enjoy Your Sexuality

Lupus and sex don’t have to be enemies! Learning what you enjoy both alone and with your partner can reignite your libido and guide you back to a path of joyful sexuality.

From sexy massages when you’re having a sore day to reading erotica to each other to build anticipation, there are lots of ways you can enjoy an intimate relationship despite having lupus. Check out more sex tips on our blog to be inspired!