7 Tips for Having a Threesome Without Ruining Your Relationship

November 6, 2018 Relationships

threesome

Did you know that 1 in 5 Americans finds the idea of a threesome intriguing?

If you yourself have a curiosity for three-ways, you’re not alone. It’s a sexual activity that many people – men and women alike – fantasize about.

We live in a day and age where once-deviant sexual fantasies are becoming more acceptable. Of course, it’s always been normal for people to fantasize about having sex with more than one person at once. But now more than ever, 3-way sex is becoming more common in bedrooms all over the world.

Of course, it’s also normal for people to have fears and insecurities going into a 3-way. Especially when it comes to couples getting involved in one.

Are you and your partner considering having your first threesome? Or, are you looking for a way to break the idea to your significant other? Here are tips to help you live out your 3-way fantasy without ruining your relationship!

Have the Conversation

In any relationship, it’s important to establish trust and communication. And when it comes to sex, you can only build these things by being honest about your sexual fantasies.

Begin by having an open conversation with your significant other. Let your partner know that you would like to have a conversation about your sex life and what turns both of you on.

Maybe you’re turned on by the thought of seeing someone else with your partner. Perhaps they’re charged by the strange and sexy thought of group sex.

Hear what each other has to say. Be sure to express to them that the conversation is a safe, judgment-free zone. This initial conversation is not meant to make concrete plans for a threesome. It’s meant to help you both form a stronger and more intimate bond.

It may be the case that your partner is not interested in 3-way sex. It’s certainly not for everybody. Don’t pressure them into considering or going forward with one. This will only ruin the trust you’ve built together.

Explore the Fantasy Together

You’ve had the conversation. You and your partner are ready to explore three-way sex. But before you go forward with your first threesome, it helps to decide if you’re really ready for one.

It’s often the case that couples have a better time fantasizing about it together… as opposed to actually carrying one out. There are a few different ways you can explore the depths of your 3-way desires.

Couples indulge in erotic fiction and porn together all the time. In fact, watching porn with your significant other can be a healthy thing. It’s not for every couple, though. So, while you have “the talk”, ask your partner about how they’d feel about fantasizing along with you.

Do you and your partner know someone who participates in 3-ways? If you feel comfortable opening up to them, they may be able to share some insight for beginners.

The bottom line? Taking your time and exploring each other’s comfort levels is better in the long run. And it can certainly help make your first three-way experience all the better.

Establish Your Boundaries

After some warming up to the idea, you and your partner come to the collective decision to have a 3-way. So, what’s next?

Before you go forward with finding a partner, establish your boundaries and expectations. You and your partner need to be on the same page before you bring someone else into the picture.

First, what is off the table? For example, some partners can agree to anal and oral sex during the threesome. In other cases, one partner may not be okay with one or both of these activities.

Secondly, who do you both want to bring in? A male? A female? And what are your boundaries with them?

Jealousy is one of the biggest issues when it comes to group sex. While it can be arousing, it can also be problematic to see someone else pleasure your partner.

Unfortunately, it can be hard to gauge your own jealousy, as well as your partner’s, before having a 3-way. Still, it’s crucial to talk about the jealousy factor and the types of things that could trigger you.

Maybe it’s kissing. Or hand holding, cuddling, or butt grabbing. Whatever it is, make sure your partner is fully aware.

Enjoy the Process of Getting to Know Your Partner

Once you and your partner are on the same page, you can start moving forward with finding a partner together.

It may be the case that you know of someone you’d both feel comfortable with. But what if you don’t?

Luckily, we live in the age of the Internet… and the possibilities are truly endless. There are apps and websites geared toward people interested in threesomes.

After some research into these platforms, choose one that suits you and your partner. Then, create a profile together and describe what it is you’re both looking for.

Once your profile goes live, you’ll get to communicating with prospective lovers. Do some fun chit chatting online. If you all vibe with one another, schedule a few dates.

It’s better to get to know the person rather than jumping right into it. Plus, this will give the other person an opportunity to express their boundaries.

Take Small Steps Together

After getting to know your new partner, the three of you collectively decide to proceed.

You’ll all want to establish a place where each of you will feel comfortable. But before getting to the action, discuss what you all feel comfortable with during the first go.

There’s nothing wrong with dabbling in group intimacy before going all out. The three of you could try kissing and cuddling and proceed from there, for example.

What’s most important is that you all check in with each other throughout the experience. A threesome is only successful if everyone is happy and comfortable.

Of course, your own pleasure is important, too. But if everyone is consciously trying to please one another, there will be no worries there!

A Threesome Can Make Your Relationship Closer

3-way sex is not for every couple. Communication is the only way to figure out if it’s for you and your significant other.

And while it’s normal to worry that your first time could ruin your relationship… it’s important to remember that it could actually be a good thing!

There’s a lot to consider before you and your partner come to the decision to try a threesome. These sex positions may help you and your partner explore each other more intimately.

Or, if you both are feeling a little more on the adventurous side, try out these toys for fun!