8 Reasons Why Marriages End (And How to Prevent Them)
There is a 40-50% chance your marriage won’t make it. With over 820,000 divorces in 2017, the outcome looks bleak.
Mind you, Britney Spears’ 55-hour marriage was once part of that statistic, and she’s doing fine.
Before you lose hope and hire that divorce attorney you see ads for on Facebook, think about the reasons why you want to leave. Do you know what they are?
If they are 1 of these 8 reasons, we have some advice for you. These are the most common and avoidable reasons for divorce.
1. Physical and Emotional Cheating
Infidelity is a deal-breaker in most marriages. The pain and hurt that comes with a cheating spouse are often hard to forgive and even harder to forget.
It isn’t just the sex.
Co-workers, close friends, and even strangers on the internet can become threats to your marriage. Relationships with strong emotional bonds become intimate in and out of the bedroom.
You or your spouse could find each other growing apart and find comfort in one of those people. Unlike other issues, however, cheating is 100% avoidable.
Cheating is a choice that is often made when communication has broken down in your marriage. Lack of intimacy or being present in your marriage can push your spouse away.
But when a spouse has cheated, it doesn’t have to be the end. Communication, forgiveness, and putting in the work will save your relationship.
2. Lack of Intimacy
Has the sex stopped? How often are you having sex with your spouse? Are there small intimate moments you share?
If your answers lean towards no, it might be time to spice it up.
Having kids, stressful work schedules and mental health issues are not a boost to your libido. But sex and intimacy are an intricate part of marriage.
Lulls and external factors are to be expected, that is life. Express your needs to your partner and work together on how to meet those needs.
Take the kids to their grandparents, make time for each other, talk to a therapist and find out how to consensually meet your needs and the needs of your partner.
3. Where Has All the Romance Gone?
Before you were married, going on dates and spending time alone together was what brought you closer together.
Marriage doesn’t mean you no longer have to try.
You should still spend time organizing small dates, buying them a gift, or even helping around the house to do something nice. Marriages fail because we assume our partner no longer needs to be wooed.
Unless you want to be part of 50%, think again. Just because you are married, doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t need to be reminded now and again how you feel about them.
So don’t just say ‘I Love You’, show it.
4. Physical Changes
Trying doesn’t end at being romantic. Marriages are often ended because a spouse is no longer physically attracted to their partner.
As shallow as it may seem, everyone is human.
Much like the romantic and intimate portion in your marriage, many people let themselves go with the idea their spouse will be attracted to them no matter what.
By no means does this mean everyone has to look like a supermodel or their spouse won’t be attracted to them. Baby weight does not equate to a beer gut and weight isn’t the single factor that will make or break your marriage.
Give yourself a Fab 5 makeover and dress up, do some grooming and have pride not only in yourself but in your relationship.
5. Expectation vs. Reality
Are your expectations based in reality or should you aim a little lower?
Expectations like helping clean around the house, co-parenting, paying bills, or finding some alone time are reasonable.
Expecting your spouse to always want to have sex, look like they walked out of a magazine, and will be able to cater to your every whim and desire, not so much.
Knowing the difference between what you expect and what is reality will alleviate the pressure from your partner and from your marriage.
Relieve the tension by acknowledging where your own faults are in your expectations before placing them upon your spouse.
Talk to your spouse. Yeah, it’s that easy.
Communication or the lack thereof is a major cause of most divorces. Talk about the feelings you’re having, your doubts, your needs, and ask your spouse the same.
Healthy communication starts with being able to listen and mutual respect. If your partner is voicing their concerns, don’t be dismissive. If you or your spouse doesn’t feel comfortable talking to one another, your marriage is destined to fail.
If you can’t make it work on your own, try couples therapy. While the stigma around therapy continues, it will save your marriage.
7. Money Problems
Financial problems are the root of a stressful marriage.
Not being able to afford your bills and never knowing where your next paycheck is coming from can tear a couple apart. Stay-at-home and other arrangements are an agreement between spouses, but when freeloading becomes an issue resentment rises.
Creating budgets, finding a stable income, and working together to be supportive can overcome these issues.
Abuse in a relationship ranges from emotional to physical and at worst, both.
Marriages where abuse is present will and should end.
Emotional and verbal abuse, like name-calling, demeaning behavior, neglect, or gas-lighting are stepping stones to physical abuse.
Marriage does not give anyone possession over their spouse in any form. Sex is a consensual act and no one should feel unsafe or have their physical and mental health threatened for the sake of love.
Fighting Your Reasons for Divorce
If you and your spouse don’t want to become another statistic, take our advice.
Fighting your reasons for divorce should come from knowing what you can fix and when it’s healthier for you to leave. The statement ‘Love isn’t enough’, while cliche, is true. It takes commitment, work, and communication to make any marriage last.
For ideas on how to keep your marriage interesting and spoil your spouse, check out our Erotica.