Top 7 Ways to Communicate Better in Bed
Communicating is one of the sexiest things you can do.
And sexual communication can improve your sex life immensely.
Studies show that most people are hesitant to communicate with their partner about sex. It’s a strange paradox to be able to be physically intimate and vulnerable with someone while also being afraid to communicate.
But it is a pervasive problem in many couples’ sex lives.
In this article, we’ll go over some of the ways communication can add some spice to your bedroom.
Sexual Communication: Talking About When To Initiate Sex
Many couples struggle with busy lives. In between working full-time, and often raising children, there seems to be very energy left for a sex life.
It can be difficult in this situation to know when to initiate sex and if your partner will be receptive to it. You may worry that he or she is too tired or won’t be in the mood.
In order to solve this problem, you can speak about how you like for him or her to initiate sex and how they would like for you to initiate. This can make the precious time between you much more special.
Some couples have also set a sex schedule. While this may seem unromantic, it is a good way to ensure that your sex life doesn’t fall by the wayside in between life’s activities.
Be Clear About Your Boundaries
Is there something you’re really not up for in sex? Does your partner do something that really kills the mood? If so, let him or her know and you can adjust expectations. If you’re clear about your boundaries and your partner is clear about his or hers, it ensures healthy communication between the two of you.
You both also know what to expect out of one another, and what exactly is off limits. Nothing kills a buzz like going somewhere the other person doesn’t want you to and you not knowing it wasn’t on the menu.
Let Your Partner Know Your Turn Ons and Turn Offs
When you’ve been in a relationship for several years, you might think you know one another like the back of your hand. But relationships and people change, and people like to try new things every once in a while. Let your partner know if you’re up for trying something new and discuss what you’d like or dislike about it.
If you’re in a new relationship, it is especially important to communicate your likes and dislikes. This means verbally letting your partner know what turns you on and what turns you off. In this stage, you’re still exploring one another, and in some cases, you may be exploring your own sexuality.
It’s okay to try something new and not like it, but let your partner know how you felt. Otherwise, they may believe you were into something you totally weren’t feeling.
Practice Positive Reinforcement
Did your partner do something that really turned you on and you want to do again? Let him or her know that the move they did was pretty amazing. This lets him or her know that it’s one of your turn-ons, and a respectful partner will definitely add it to their repertoire.
In turn, listen to your partner when they tell you that you did something they really liked. Make a mental note to try and incorporate it into your routine a little bit more often.
Let Your Partner Know How Sexy You Find Them, Especially If They Struggle with Body Image Issues
Some couples are reluctant to get naked in front of one another because they’re not confident about their bodies. It’s totally understandable. This can especially be the case if your partner has just had a baby or one of you has been ill and noticed unwanted bodily changes.
However, you should always communicate openly that you find your partner sexually attractive. You should even do this when your partner is not expressing that he or she isn’t confident about the way they look.
Letting your partner know that they wildly turn you on is a sure fire way to boost up their confidence level and help them feel less uncomfortable when it’s time to disrobe.
Don’t Ask If They’re Almost There Yet
You may be pleasuring your partner and you’re starting to feel tired. Or, sometimes, you may get bored if the sex is going on for too long. While this can be the case, you can ask your partner what you’re doing that turns them on and gets them closer to climax.
Don’t ask them if they’re almost done or if they’re almost there yet.
For women especially, climaxing can have a mental aspect to it. This means asking, “Are you there yet?” can totally kill the mood. In this case, he or she may feel like having sex with them is a chore and you’ll kill the change of them finishing.
Having Frank Conversations is Key
It may seem embarrassing, but if you’re having regular sex with someone, sexual communication is key. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed to talk about things you’re into and things you’re just not feeling. After all, you wouldn’t want to continually do something during sex your partner finds obnoxious, so speaking to one another is definitely the best thing to do.
For more information to help you keep your sex life, relationship and sexual communication on point, visit our blog.