Introducing Sex with Toys: How to Bring Toys into the Bedroom for the First Time

February 28, 2019 Sex Tips
sex with toys

Want to introduce a few toys into your relationship?

Wondering what the best way to do it is?

While there are many ways to spice up a relationship, adding toys into the bedroom can be one of the best options. However, while you may be more than excited to bring a few toys into the bedroom, your partner may not feel the same.

Because of this, you’ll probably want to think about how to introduce the idea in the best way to make sure your partner understands where you’re coming from and will be completely on board. 

Below we’ll give you a few of our top tips for introducing sex with toys to the bedroom for the first time.

1. Start Talking

Before you bring a sex toy in the bedroom, the first thing you’ll want to do is bring the subject up to your partner in a graceful way. Don’t surprise your partner with a toy. Instead, be ready to have an open conversation first in which you’ll speak to them but also listen to their concerns. Tell them why you’re interested in using a sex toy in the bedroom and then talk to them about it in a calm and collected way. 

An honest conversation is usually all that you need to get your partner on board with bringing a new toy in the bedroom. You may even find out that your partner has been thinking about using a sex toy as well but has been too afraid to ask.

2. Remember Your Partner’s Point-of-View

When you’re talking to your partner about bringing a toy into a bedroom, you need to remember to keep their feelings and their point-of-view in mind.

While you may have been thinking about introducing a sex toy into the bedroom for a while, your partner will likely be in unfamiliar territory. Chances are that they don’t know much about the types of toys that are out there and they may not have thought about it as much as you have. They may even see your interest in adding toys to your relationship as an insult to their performance in bed or they may feel that using a sex toy is too taboo.

Be ready to assure your partner that your desire to introduce a few toys isn’t about them and remind them that there’s no shame in using sex toys in the bedroom. Also, be ready to educate them about what kinds of toys you may be interested in trying.

3. Be Open and Honest

Remember that honesty is everything in a relationship and if you truly want to start using toys in the bedroom, you need to be clear, assertive, and honest.

If you’re not getting the satisfaction you need from your partner you should tell them about it. However, make sure to let them know in a calm and non-confrontational way why you’re interested in using toys. Simply let your partner know that while you enjoy the experiences you’re having already, you believe that with a toy you can take things to a new level and give each other even more pleasure.

Most of all, be honest and tell your partner how you really feel. Just make sure that you do it in a tactful way that will help them understand where you’re coming from.

4. Emphasize the Adventure

Instead of emphasizing what your sexual relationship may be missing, it’s instead better to focus on the positive. Make sure you frame the use of toys as an adventure that the two of you are going on together.

When discussing your interest in trying out some sex toys with your partner, emphasize the adventurous aspect of it rather than any lack of satisfaction you have. Treat the use of toys as the next step in your relationship together and see it as a journey that both of you will be sharing in the bedroom to explore your partner’s pleasure as well as your own.

By framing your introduction of sex toys in the right way, you’ll avoid making your partner feel insulted or inadequate. You’re simply helping each other explore new ways of feeling good.

5. Choose a Couple’s Toy

When looking for the perfect sex toy to get started with it can be a great idea to look for a toy that will provide pleasure for both of you equally. This is particularly true if your partner may be on the fence or seems a little about wary of introducing a toy into the bedroom.

Certain types of massagers, rings, and vibrators are meant for use by couples. These couple’s toys will give both of you new sensations and will be ideal for using together.

By using a couple’s toy, you’ll ensure both you and your partner are enjoying yourselves in the bedroom and that neither of you feels like you’re taking all of the fun for yourself.

6. Look For a Toy Together

If you want to be sure that both you and your partner will have a good time with your new toy, it’s a great idea to pick one out together. 

Looking at toys together can be a great experience that will bring you together as a couple and will help you to talk more openly about the different options that are available. You’ll be to discuss the different sensations you could feel with each toy and talk about your needs with your partner in an open way.

Believe it or not, looking at sex toys together can be a lot of fun and will give you an opportunity to connect with your partner. It will also prepare you early on for actually bringing the toy into the bedroom. Each of you will know exactly what to expect when the time comes to use it.

Making the Choice to Introduce Sex With Toys

If you’re serious about wanting to have sex with toys it’s important that you tell your partner. However, you need to make sure that you approach the subject in a way that they’ll understand and that will help both go into it as a team. If you do, both of you will be more than happy to start your new journey together in the bedroom.

Still trying to decide if you’re ready to bring a toy into your relationship? Click here to take our quiz to find out if it may be time.